Well this needs no commentary, except to say that Louis C.K. nails it again. I’m forever preaching about reflective practice, which doesn’t mean infinite self-love. It means reflecting on what’s happened, thinking about your role in it and figuring out how you are going to be a better person the next time around.
And sometimes, my friends, when I look at my behaviour in uncomfortable situations, I have been an asshole. (I prefer to call myself a jerk. But if Louis C.K. says asshole, I’ll say asshole). I’ve ignored personal texts and calls, been a less-than-ideal friend, begged off social situations, been totally, irrationally emotional about something minor, and have been a rabid judge of people who I feel are judgmental (?!). I also can be too single-mindedly driven at work, be very mean if I feel someone has wronged one of my children, hold a hellofa grudge, harbour secret schemes to enact revenge on those who have wronged me, and finally, I am often on my high horse. And I’m just scratching the surface. Perhaps my ex-friends, ex-work colleagues or ex-boyfriends/spouse can chime in here.
People have told me that I’m such a nice person, and that makes me feel even more guilty for the times that I’m a jerk. I consider this as the permission for me to say: hey, sometimes I’m an asshole too. I am perfectly imperfect and maybe by confessing this, this just makes me more human? Or maybe it just makes me more of an asshole. I’ll let you be my judge.