My dear friend’s son was born stillborn in Winnipeg many years ago. If he had lived, he would have been 14 years old. I wrote a piece for Chatelaine about supporting a grieving friend in 2002, called Put your hand in her hand.
I learned a lot about how to be a good friend: including listening, showing up, and talking about her baby boy and using his name. I also learned that I could provide no comfort that would take away her grief. It was hers and hers alone to navigate.
I have never experienced a pregnancy loss. I do know that miscarriages and babies born still happen a lot, but it is rarely spoken about.
The Global Alliance to Prevent Prematurity and Stillbirth has created a beautiful and sad video, with parents sharing their thoughts about losing a baby. I wish that all health professionals who work with expectant mothers would watch this, and that it is shared with parents who are grieving a baby, so they know that they are not alone. Born in Silence offers a powerful perspective from mothers and fathers who have experienced the death of their baby.
“His life was a good thing in this world.”